Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
