porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
