In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
