Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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