I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize