I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
