Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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