I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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