Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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