Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
