I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
