you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
