It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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