ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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