Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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