But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
