I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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