Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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