is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
