I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
