he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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