you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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