maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize