Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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