is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
