I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
