ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Little spoons don't ask big questions
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We need to get me chipped asap
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
