So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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