You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
