Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
