I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
