I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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