I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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