I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
