I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
