i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
