How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
