Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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