Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
