There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
