There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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