I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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