I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
