forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
