o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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