By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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