i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
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Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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