i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We left the knife in your bed.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
