at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
