I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
