I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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