I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
