Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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