There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
