Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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