Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
