people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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