you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
