I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
