Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just want nice things and good sex
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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