my mouth tastes like poor choices
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize