So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
