Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
