Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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