bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just pee around me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Randomize
