Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
