Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
